So it's day three in seattle and me and erin have a good plan of action. We are going to suss out union lake, then mosey on over to the cinemas and watch This is the End. We're pretty excited. It's going to be a nice chilled lovely day.
Union park was lovely, sail boats all round. The sun was shiining.
Erin picked out quite the cute little cinema. Seems to do a lot of independent film sessions and so forth. Anyhow. We grab our buttered popcorn and cola. Erin spills half our popcorn... We grab another small popcorn. And we are Ready!
This movie is funny, we're lolling hard. The crowd is good. No ones rubbing me the wrong way which is rare and great.
Okay so now we are about half way into the movie, and god knows why but this sense of dread just overwhelms me, and I'm kinda bending over to check my bag.
I had placed it near my feet but as I go to grab it it seems a little misplaced so instantly I start shuffling around for my wallet, which seems to be M.I.A at this point....so I'm freaking a little bit.
Can't tell you what made me feel frantic about my bag, have no idea where my head got the cue to check it, but as im having a little mini breakdown Erin's looking at me like, just calm down dude. It'll be there.
I then start rambling..."dude someone's like snooping under seats, someone's behind us snooping under our seats"
as I'm theorizing I start hearing someone in the row behind us like.. shuffling on the floor. Bam. Someone is sliding under the seats, so I'm freaking out.
Then I'm telling erin I can hear someone behind the seats.
She looks at me like I've just made up some crazy shit out of nowhere...I mean...I've just disturbed her from this hilarious movie and start crapping on about a man sneaking under chairs...no wonder she looked at me weird.
So I tell her "just shhhh...listen!"
We both listen...
Erin just stares at me...
"What the fuck!? Is that a person behind us??"
And I'm all.."yess...I can see him! I can see his feet!"
Soooo...there's this guy like on the floor, legs poking out into the isle and everything. I just freeze, I know it's easy to say you could just start talking to the guy or jump him or something.. But I'm a little lost for words. like im staring at this cheeky fucker whos been sliiding under my seat!? stealing shit!?What is actually happening right now.
so as soon as Erin's all clued on I head out to get some assistance from the ticket men. Before I leave I get up and stand in the isle. The dude is kinda frozen he isn't moving anymore. I think he knows we've clued onto him. I whisper to erin while making an exaggerated pointing motion "eriiiiin psssstt he's down here". Then I leave the cinema.
These poor dudes at the counter. I can barely talk or form a normal sentence. So the best thing I come up with...
"Hey ahh so like.. is ahhh...is it normal for people to steal wallets here? Like when you're watching a movie is it normal for people to like..crawl under seats and grab things!? Cos that's what's just happened to meeee and yeah.."
these guys are lost for words. Told me it definitely isn't a normal thing, especially in this particular area.
As I'm fumbling over words trying to form a coherent sentence. Erin comes and informs us all that she's seen the guy stand up, she's made eye contact with him and thinking he'd make a break for it shed catch him out here but he went to the ol' cinema screen exit! Sneaky shit.
Anyway, lame...feeling helpless the cinema people are very helpful, allow me to use their phone to cancel my cards. Because that's all that's on my mind right now. Do not want anyone taken me monaye.
The cops get called out so Erin's letting them know the dealio while I suss out my cards.
The film ends and everyone's filing out. While I'm on the phone I see a lady with my wallleeetttt. Praise some sort of higher being. The dude had ended up ditching my wallet a few rows down. Taken 30bucks. Left me a one dollar bill in there. APPRECIATE THAT MATE.
So I didn't make a claim or charge or anything, turns out a lady got done two days ago in the same cinema.
Weird evening.
I don't think I can shake the image and sound of the man sliding like a snake on his belly for a few more days but yeah...
So yes..lessons learnt?
Just keep your bags on your lap when watching a moofie.
It's funny because when people hear of this craziness they might think, "we'll I would always keep my bag on me at all times.."
But would you? Even if it were quite a fancy nice little area in America
with a pretty good system for checking ticketed guests...and if you needed more lap room for the insane amount of popcorn you were eating...and if all the people in the cinema were just well rounded Americans who enjoy a good laugh?
HAS IT COME TO THE POINT WHERE WE AS CITIZENS DO NOT HAVE THE FREEDOM TO PLACE OUR BAGS BETWEEN OUR GOD DAM FEET? (yes people...bag was between my feet and this nifty dude manouvered it out!? Argh)
I really do hope this is the last story involving theft and men crawling underneath my seating area.
So now I have cancelled all my cards. Even though I got them back. But who knew that would have been the outcome. In my mind I was never going to see that wallet again.
Seattle was great, I will hold no grudge.
Random note. The policeman had braces...and he was 55years young.
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